I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Bring me that man meat
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
