..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
