He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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