Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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