Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
