why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
