So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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