Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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