just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
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