Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
