Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
