If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
