He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
