Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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