he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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