Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
We don't watch enough power rangers
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
