So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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