I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
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