ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
