is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
