I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
