Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
