I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Shame - the story of my life.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
