Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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