And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
