what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
