I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
