i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
