oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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