so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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