I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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