can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
