he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
