Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
now i know why i became what i already was.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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