why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
