What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
