Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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