So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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