It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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