I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
