I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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