It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
