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• (404): View more from Georgia

  I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.

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• (516): View more from New York

  ...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?

  (585): View more from New York

  hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that

  (516): View more from New York

  is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'

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• (240): View more from Maryland

  Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here

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• (563): View more from Iowa

  I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything

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• (808): View more from Hawaii

  Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken

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• (512): View more from Texas

  I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!

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• (407): View more from Florida

  The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.

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