that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
