I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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