It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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