What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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