i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
