Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
