4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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